Born of Constraint

My efforts over recent months—the wish deep within my heart—are to return to the state I inhabited before the advent of consciousness. History is the detour I choose to reach that state. Only one thing matters: learning to remain a loser. Every phenomenon is a corrupted version of another, greater phenomenon: time is the sickness of eternity, history is the sickness of time, and life is the sickness of matter. What, then, is natural and healthy? Is it eternity—which is itself merely God’s infirmity?